Monday, 23 March 2015



It was a sunny Spanish spring day when I arrived at Figueres station on the 20th of March 1999. I had decided to take some weeks off before the beginning of my compulsory social service. In the late nineties Italian men had the obligation to serve their country for 10 months. One could choose between two options: the military service or the social one. I had opted for the latter as I thought it most suited my needs and those of the society. Enrico arrived in Roses just a few days later. It was great seeing him again after almost two years. I was sitting on the porch when I saw a blond guy riding at a fast speed a rotten bicycle. As soon as he got closer I could recognize his radiant solar smile and his sweet blue eyes. He got off his bike, I gave him a hug and I asked him to follow me inside. The day before I had bought plenty of vodka and beer because I knew how my German friend was like. I poured him a glass of peach vodka, he took two cigarettes out of his packet, he lighted them up and he placed one of them on my lips, just like he used to do two years before. That evening Enrico and I went to visit his cousin Robert who was also there on holidays. My friend’s relative was very excited of our visit, he took us to the rear garden of his house and he asked us to wait there. A few minutes later he appeared again with a bottle of vodka and a small plastic box. Robert poured some vodka into the three glasses and we started drinking. I was curious to know what that little box contained, so I asked my friend Enrico. “It’s the Koma”, he said. I was told that “Koma” was a German light drug and Robert had brought some extra for us, so that we could have smoked it together. We rolled up three joints and after another couple of glasses we started smoking the first one. It did not seem to be that strong. The second one followed and I started feeling a little dizzy already and could not control my laughing. The last one was fatal. My friends seemed to handle that better than I possibly could. In fact I started hallucinating and laughing without control. It was around 3 a.m. when I decided it was the time for me to go, so I left my friends and I started walking towards home. The street was wide and dark, only the moon and the brightest stars could show me the way.
Eventually I noticed that a couple of trees had joined me and were walking on my side. They helped me to find my way and finally at 4 a.m. I arrived home. “Good night trees, it was very kind from you to guide me home. I will see you tomorrow!” I kissed the trees goodnight and went inside. When I opened my eyes again, it was late afternoon and finally the trees had stopped walking. Enrico and his cousin came to visit me a couple of evenings later. Robert had his magic box with him and I made sure to have plenty of alcohol at home. My two German guests lighted up two joints at the same time so that we could get stoned ever quicker. We drank, we smoked and we laughed. Enrico got his lips close to mine to blow some of the smoke from his mouth into mine. It was a great feeling to have him that close, but I had to contain myself or I could have just kissed him. Eventually Robert came up with an idea. One had to hold the smoke as long as possible. That game was not a good idea. At some point I started feeling bad. Eventually I stood up and I went to the mirror. I was as pale as a ghost and considering that I had spent two afternoons sun bathing on the beach, it was not a good sign. My stomach started aching and I had the feeling I needed to throw up. Unfortunately, no matter what, I had never been able to vomit so easily. As a matter of fact I could count the times I threw up on the fingers of one hand. Enrico and Robert were too stoned already to take care of me, so I asked them to leave. They could not be serious enough and I was starting to get really worried. The pain increased and I found myself unable to walk. I decided to go to the bathroom upstairs and I had to crawl on all fours through the living room and up the stairs. Eventually when I reached the bathroom, I laid on the floor. At that point I prayed God to give me another chance and I made the promise I would have never smoked grass again.

I was up for the whole night and in the morning the situation became a little better. I still had muscle pains but I was able to walk again and I decided to write a few pages on my experience. When on the day after I took those pages again, I started laughing about the whole thing. What I had written was completely unreadable and it seemed more like a work of modern art. The only clear sentence was: “what the fuck did I do? I promise I will never smoke grass again”.

Two days later Enrico came to visit me and I told him about my bad experience. During the next days we spent some times at the bars, we went again to the “Surf Inn” and we got to know some Spanish girls. One night he took me to one of those strip clubs where nasty looking fat women were supposed to strip for money. Luckily Enrico ran out of cash so that we did not have to hang there for too long. It was the first week of April when Dan called me on my Spanish mobile. “I will be arriving at Barcelona airport on the 4th of April at 20:00 C.E.T.” He asked me if I could come to pick him up at the airport and what my address was. The plane landed one hour late and I had the feeling we were going to miss the train back to Figueres. Finally Dan came out from the customs area and I walked towards him. He smiled, I gave him a hug, I asked him if he had had a pleasant journey and I informed him on the train connection problems we had. Only 5 minutes had gone by and my ex-boyfriend had managed already to piss me off. He started complaining about my ability to organize transport connections, as if I was responsible for the delay of his flight and for the schedule of the Spanish railways. We missed the last train by 10 minutes and we had to wait in Barcelona Sants station until 6:00am. That was definitely not the best way to start a holiday, especially with Dan. I was the kind of person, who did not care too much when facing inconvenient situations like missing a regional train. Not when I was on holidays at least. In such situations I would have taken the chance to have some fun and try to spend my time in the best way possible. I proposed to my ex to get his luggage into a locker and go to a bar or to walk around the Barri Gotic. Dan did not seem to support my idea and the conclusion was that we spent the whole night at the station. Dan had not changed a bit. Eventually the morning after we arrived in Roses, we had breakfast at one of those snack bars along the beach and I took my Taiwanese friend to have a walk around the old town. My guest had made some research before traveling to Spain and he wanted to take me to a gay sauna he had found in the Internet. On one side I did not feel like giving up on my ideals to make my selfish ex happy, but after a few days of pressure he managed to convince me. “Ok, let’s try this sauna!” I told him exhausted.

At the entrance we were given two condoms each, a towel and some lubricant. I used the towel I was given, to cover my naked body, nevertheless I decided to keep my underwear on, as I did not feel too comfortable with all those old men around. After a few minutes, Dan sneaked away, the sauna was huge and he wanted to explore it all. There were only two ways to pick up a guy, one could either walk around and search, or one could sit in one of the tiny rooms, leave the door open and wait for the right man to walk inside. At some point I started enjoying getting so much attention, but I still had to find a way, to get rid of the guys, with whom I did not want to spend my time with. My Spanish was as fluent as my English, nevertheless I decided to turn down the unwanted men with the usual: “Sorry I do not understand”. It made perfect sense, if I had answered in Italian they would have laughed at me, every Italian men would have been able to understand a Spaniard. I had to lie about my nationality to several guys, from extremely fat ones to grandfathers. Finally I saw a gorgeous bloke a few steps away from the door of my room. The guy was looking at me with interest and eventually he took courage, he got closer and he asked me in Spanish if he could come inside. “Claro que sí!” I agreed and my Spanish was fluent once again. This young man with perfect body and the cheekiest smile told me that his name was Pedro. He lived in Barcelona and he was an architecture student. He was a gentleman, masculine, romantic and he somehow felt I needed some time before getting more intimate. He took everything very slow and we talked for about 2 hours about different topics. Dan who had seen I was getting lucky and that my door was locked had not found anyone yet, so he decided to give a blowjob to an old and nasty looking man. After having some fun, I gave Pedro a deep kiss and I left with Dan.